I don`t want to cry because I feel defeated. Artist Feven said I used to be afraid, Interview with Ethiopian actress Feven Ketema. I am no stranger to feeling hopeless and defeated.
Many relationship failures, lifelong physical and emotional, two bankruptcies, and a recent online business loss (2020) October), I can say that I have experienced enough to survive two lifetimes. I will admit that there have been many times when I wanted it all to end. Many days, I didn’t know how much more I should drink. My recent loss has shaken me beyond words. Everything I worked hard for three years was blown away.
I am deaf and feel defeated almost every day. I’m 58 and don’t want to start over, but I can’t help it. I know what to expect. I have been here before. It’s ugly, messy, frustrating, stressful, and exhausting. Every day, when I wake up, I can’t bring myself to work on my computer. To be honest, I don’t feel like doing anything, I just lie on my bed and cry.
I am in waves of severe anxiety all day long. They hit me fast, hard, and without warning. I want to throw up, I want to curl up and die. I want someone to tell me that this is all a bad dream and tomorrow everything will be back to normal. It won’t happen. And I force myself to get down to business and start a new day.
